Letter to a Friend. . .

Dear Friend,

 

You are not alone. Not at all. I have been feeling the overwhelming amount of shallowness more and more. Sometimes it's so overwhelming I just want to run. But here's the thing. Swallow that "flight" instinct, and walk into a group and just love. Love on every and any person who wants to recieve.  Be a bridge builder.

 

That being said, you are not half as awkward as you may think and others are not half as normal as you think. We are all a little weird once we get to know one another. Another thing is, that although you feel like your interests are narrow. So are everyone else's. No lie. How many conversations do I have about things that I have no interest in? More than I care to count. We all have things that are unique to us. But here's the thing. I love to learn and I love people. So talking to people teaches me about things I would never learn about on my own, and I get to love people . So here's my solution. Don't FAKE anything. You don't fake like you actually care about something that you don't. But if the genuine care for the person is there, than talking about things that you don't really care about, sometimes, is OK. Because that care for the person is genuine.  And sometimes others are doing the same for you.  Like certain people in my family. I don't really care about what they're talking about, but I do care that they feel heard and valued.  So I listen anyway, and chime in here and there to let them know I am listening. 

 

Another thing. YOU are always welcome.  Yes the dynamic in the church group changes. It's true. There are many people that even I don't know now. However, that's the beauty. You can always come and not feel out of place because there are always people there that are feeling the exact same way. You identifying that your group of friends are human and sometimes negative is a good thing. I am not saying don't be friends with them, but you have to be filled in order to pour out. So make sure that you are staying close to the One Who loves you the most. 

We are NOT home yet. Not even close. And sometimes we place a greater value on relationships with others than on our relationship with the Lord. However, HE is the center. HE is the focus. When we are plugged into Him. Somehow the relationships with others get easier. You begin to find people that are as set on Jesus being the center of their lives as you are. And CHRIST, as He was always meant to be, becomes the center of your friendships. And really, after that, everything else is just details. Some that we legitamately only care about because we care about people. And that's OK.

 

(Having more postitive friends will probably also help too though. :) Split your time.) 

 

As an example of listening because you care for the person, not the topic:  Most of the time I don't really care about the newest fashion. I don't really care about a new hair cut. I don't care about the game. I don't care about the new car, new job, or the new apartment. I don't. However because these are the things that people are comfortable with talking about or because they genuinely are interested in these things I make conversation and take an interest.  Because by taking an interest in these "things" in a persons life you are taking an interest in the person.  The goal being that with time deeper conversations will happen. Mostly they have to be personally sparked though so that can be harder, but it gets easier over time.

 

All that being said you can't be something that you're not. So sometimes just being in a group and chiming in here and there works. You seem great at that. Seriously. I never thought of you as being awkward. EVER. You are easy to talk to. So don't let those fears, and thinking inwardly keep you from people either. Satan loves to lie to us about what others are thinking. Just be genuine. Be yourself. You'll find the people who want that. And to be frank the others are probably not supposed to be a part of your world. . .at least at this point in their lives.  The point is not to make everyone love you, it is to love on everyone else.  Even if they don't reciprocate.

 

Anyway. I hope that makes sense. In the end. The biggest thing that I have learned is that we are not home. We will always struggle with that nagging feeling that we don't belong. It's because we don't. This world is not our home. But we are here, and while we are it's a lifetime of lessons on how to bring heaven to Earth and love the ones that God loves. To know that this was never a story about us. We're just extras in a grand production to help make much of God. That being said, it also means we can just be free to live and love. Knowing we are completely accepted in Jesus. We have a specific role that only we can play. Knowing who we are in Christ and where we are headed.  And these facts put everything in perspective. 

 

May we learn to love others as He has loved us.

 

Annie